This has annoyed me since the day after writing my last entry. Anyone who knows me well will know that I have what might be considered a mild obsession with polka dots, mostly clothes and stationery. It’s weird I completely left it off an extensive ‘about me’ list. Ugggh, I’m reading this back to myself and its in my “intellectual voice” which always feels a bit snooty and stuck up but I’m really not like that. I’m common as muck and only a little bit smarter than the average bear. My memory absorbs things without me meaning to but, as I’ve demonstrated with the polka dots, it likes to randomly forget big things. Only connect whooshes about 2 feet over my head, I’m not super high minded. There were other things about me too, that I thought of, that I should have put in the list.
Brace yourself for snooty intellectual voice now though: I’m fascinated by language, the richness of vocabulary, the different nuances in synonyms, the onomatopoeic nature of words, the way some words feel weird or funny to say (moist plinth) and the way that some euphemisms for genitalia are much more socially acceptable than others. My grammar isn’t great though. Now I’ll step down off the snooty step. Tonight, feeling a little gloomy and overwhelmed from being in more pain than I’m used to, I was completely cheered up by Miriam Margolyes using the C word on live TV (sometimes when I mention the C word I’m jokingly referring to Christmas but this time I mean the rude 4 letter one). I cackled like a witch. I love her, an intelligent, funny and talented lady who seems to have this refreshing “fuck it all, I’ll say what I think” attitude. Not one of those “I say it like it is” people who use honesty as an excuse to say hurtful insulting things to others but someone who is free in expressing herself, her experiences and her thoughts. I think there’s something to be admired in that.
This post is entirely self indulgent and a little waffly. I wrote it because I felt like it, because thoughts kept leaping into my mind. A little because I’ve felt very much like a one dimensional pseudo human for the last few days. I think maybe just putting things down in black and white is good for me, my mind is a very busy place. I do hope to write some things that are beneficial to others, even if I’m just expressing my own experiences, maybe someone who’s gone through similar won’t feel alone, or like no one else understands.